Classic Cliche
by knightkitten
Summary: Rei finds Kai cheating on him! Oh no! What ever shall he do? KaiRei, mentions of KaiTala, slash, one shot


There was a certain cliché to be found in walking in on your best friend and your lover making out passionately on the couch you worked 7 months to buy. It wasn't even that said best friend had just yesterday been bitching about the crimes of adultery, or that said boyfriend had just yesterday been gushing about how much he loved you, but that they were doing it on _his _couch that pissed Rei off.

There were hundreds of other places that they could have done it! Really, there was Kai's bench or floor or wall or office. Or even Tala's apartment. But they had to really rub it in, by doing it on _his_ couch. It was really the only thing that only he owned in the whole apartment. He had moved in with Kai a few years prior and since then the two of them had pitched together to buy everything. But, the couch was his one pride and joy. It was blue and velvet and would double as a bed (very convenient for when Kai was in the bad books).

He supposed, looking back later, it was rather strange of him to just stand there and stare at Kai and Tala, wincing every time they abused his poor couch too terribly. Finding the love of your life together with your best friend did that to you, he mused, cocking his head to the side, wondering, next, what their reactions would be when they finally noticed his presence. However, the two continued in much the same fashion, despite Rei's increasingly long period of being present.

Five minutes later, the situation hadn't much changed and Rei's feet were rather starting to hurt. He plopped to the ground, crossing his legs casually and planting an elbow on his thigh, chin in hand. They must really like each other, Rei observed with a raised eyebrow, to be so wrapped up in each other. The thought made him want to laugh, but curiosity won out in the end and he stayed silent.

As the time dragged on, his mind started to wonder. What could possibly have driven Kai to Tala? He wondered on this, thinking on their relationship up until now. He honestly didn't see or feel anything different. But then Kai had always been scarily impassive. Rei supposed growing up tortured did that kind of thing to you. He grinned at the notion and then felt guilty, knowing the whole situation wasn't really supposed to be that amusing. He pondered on the idea that maybe Kai needed more love than most people. Maybe Rei wasn't fat enough for good snuggles. This thought was, of course, squashed knowing it was born only of vindictiveness for Tala.

Sitting on the floor became a pain on his tailbone after awhile, so he stood and strode into the kitchen (which overlooked the living room and his precious couch) and began making a hot chocolate. He'd spent the day at the BBA, with Tyson and Max. Hiro had been there, sporting a friendly smile once he realized that Kai wasn't to be coming. They still didn't get along, Rei smiled fondly, sipping at his chocolate now.

This is getting ridiculous, Rei thought, glancing at the clock and seeing it had already been half an hour since he had gotten home. Honestly, you'd think they'd want to hide it, Rei sighed, popping a Dorito into his mouth and crunching specutively. Have they come up for breath? Apparently though, the time had come for the charade to end. Tala jerked from where he was pinned between Rei's couch (wince) and Kai at the sound of the corn chip snapping. He pushed at Kai's chest gently, glancing over the bluenette's shoulder and wincing at the sight of Rei leaning on the counter, eating from a pack of Doritos.

Tala bit his lip, connecting eyes with Kai and pointing over his shoulder feebly. Rei had to suppress a grin as Kai turned, straining to see what Tala was pointing out. He fell off the couch, eyes wide and Rei could practically hear the gears in Kai's head turning. Hand caught in the cookie jar, Rei thought, cackling evilly on the inside. Tala and Kai stared at the younger Neko-jin and Rei had to fight to keep his lip from twitching.

He was relieved when Tala stood and helped Kai up, vacating his couch of presences. He studied it, hoping not to find any previous evidence of love-making – it was really hard to wash those kind of stains out of velvet, Rei bemoaned internally. He turned his attention back to errant lover and friend and had to smirk at the sight they made. Like high-school-ers caught trying to sneak porno. He summoned all the anger he felt at there activities on _his_ couch and glared at them fiercely.

'How long has this been going on?' he queried, keeping his voice cold and hard. Tala winced and an invisible pressure lifted of Rei's heart, to the golden eyed boy's surprise. He realized he had been rather worried that Tala didn't, in fact, care for him. He was filled with fondness, but kept up the façade. His couch's lively-hood needed avenging!

'Just this once,' the red head mumbled. Rei raised an eyebrow. He honestly thought it would have been longerthan that.They'renotthat good at keeping secrets.

'Why?' Rei summoned the most pitiful expression he could muster and had to giggle behind a hand, disguised as hiding sobs, as Kai stepped forward, a positively mournful look on his face.

'I don't know,' Kai answered, head hanging. Rei couldn't help it any longer.

'Do you know how long it would have taken to wash that couch if you had stained it?' Kai stared at him incredulously and Tala's mouth was hanging open, 'Honestly, I'm quite appalled at your lack of regard for mine and Orlando's feelings!' Tala blinked.

'Orlando?' Rei glared, striding over to the couch and caressing the back rest protectively.

'Couch's have feelings too,' Rei pouted, standing with a flounce, 'Now, I'm going to call about a professional cleaner for special couches and you two are going to sit on Kai's couch and think about your actions. I expect a full apology to Orlando,' Rei announced crossly, striding across the room and into the hall where the cordless phone was kept.

He stopped and turned,

'Oh and next time,' he winked 'invite me,' and went about searching the phone book for someone worthy of cleaning his precious couch. Kai would be paying the bill, of course.


End file.
